so i havnt blogged in forever.

things havnt been going well

& i've been working on other

things. i think im going to stop

updating & rid of this site. i

have myspace for anyone who

has it also & still wants to talk.

Last night was utterly gay but fantastic but also nerve racking.

I went out on a night in Concord with Cayla and we met up with

  Adam

  Marty

  DeeDee

  Travis

  Jarret

  Tristen

 Heather

    Cody

    Tony

  Heather

   Ashley

and everyone.

I swear. The reason my life is the way it is; being so miserable and screwed up is because of this crowd. The Concord crowd is one crowd that has turned my life upside down and changed me into someone I cant believe is looking at me in the mirror.

But I hang out with them anyway.

They seem to be the only ones willing to have me around.

It's a very strange situation.

Anyway. From what I hear; Im fixing to get my ass whooped by Krissy Hines. Dont know where, dont know why. But if it comes down to that; shell have her group and Ill be fighting my battle alone. I dont have true friends. So Heather fought with Emilee & Emilee left. Heather got the guy and all was good. Too many people were staring at me, I felt truly uncomfortable. Hanging out in the parking lot with friends I like was fun, but also dramatic. Guys running around messing with girls screaming drunk laughing. It wasnt but 10 minutes til a fight broke out. Heather got out of her car and all i heard was " what a F         whore!" and here come Whitney with her older sister Dana. So Tony has to protect Heather and cusses out Dana. Cody calls himself a whore. Everyone laughes. And they leave.

I told you. Drama. But Im a part of it anyway.

Overall, Cayla and I laughed and had fun.

So uh, my stephbrothers flying in from Oregon at 6 and coming here around 12. I've done nothing but clean the house and primp..

Annnnnnd around 5:30 or so I'm going to Chad's house because yes, hes home, and he wants to see me, because its been oh so long.

So yea, remember that effing cool girl Jamie that I met?

   I'm at her house; eating biscuits. Oh yes.

We had the greatest time last night, it was wild. We pulled an all nighter too; I stil havnt slept.

I'm so glad I met her because shes wonderful; couldnt ask for better.

In about an hour, were heading to my house, then to Jerrets to skinny dip. I mean swim. && have some fun.

1. The party was a hit!
2. All is well so far with my grandfather; I'll keep updated on his conditions. Thanks for the support && prayers everyone.
3. I think I like someone

Gonna party party party hard tonight, yo. 8)

It is another... discustingly miserable day and I hate it.

My mom ended up getting ahold of my stephmom, and from what she sais, the outcome of my grandpas surgery isnt pretty. I feel horrible. When I found out about his diagnosis of lung cancer, it broke me in two; and now heart disease? My grandma is a strong woman. Ive never even seen her shed a tear over this. Alot stronger than I am. From what I've been told, he was rushed to NorthEast Medical Center around 10:00 or so, and was immediatly put into surgery. They found two clogged arteries; one they could open, and one they have to remove. I didnt think a heart could work with only one main artery.. With chemo, radiation, and surgery all at once, this is taking its toll on him. He's been in ICU since yesterday, and they said he could go home as early as tomorrow, or as late as the end of the month. I want to thank everyone thats prayed for him. It means alot.

But on a happier note. I'm going to go see a movie tonight with Chasity and maybe Crystal. I'm in the mood for a comedy rather than a horror film. I feel like laughing; something I havnt done in a while.

Well its 12:43 and I have slept my entire day away. From my window, it doesnt look like a pretty day. Weather: determines mood. blah.

Anyway, I made a new friend. Her name is Jamie and shes effing cool. Her and Dj began to hook up, and at first I didnt really like it. But as she sais, at least a cool friend came out of a guy. heh. Shes pretty rad. Yep.

A bowl of cereal is calling my name. Comment, and Ill love you. Person  with the most interesting comment, wins a prize.